Essay - by Kyle Obermann
Friend! Brothers! Peers! Hark and gather unto me, for I have a message of most importance to bestowith on doth ears! We the people, we the adolescents art a lazy bunch! Yes, it beith true, for in the year 2006 C.E. the voters of the wizened and mysterious ages of 25 and up out-strippithed us greatly number wise: 192.8 million to 27.8 million. Art thou not ashamed? Dost thou not cringe with embarrassment on encounterment with this fact? Fellow peers, we art the gentlemen of today and the generation of the morrow! Canst thou not seeith true? Our nation’s and state’s future is our own, ours to inherit, once the old pass from their throne! So grantith me this one great boon: whe’er or not thou lovest this state, vote, for in thy hands art the great powers of change!
However my dear colleague, if you perhaps present the argument that since the outcome of the election does not effect you so there is no need to vote, well you are in the greatest folly. For where would this world be if all of us humans held this ideal? Absolutely nowhere I should think. Es we are looked down upon as young, and at the present insignificant, but my dear colleagues let us prove them wrong. We may be young, but our voice is strong. We are one people, one nation, and therefore let the people of this nation rise up and give voice to their desires in the elections! And if, dear reader, you are in the opinion that your voice will be drowned amidst the countless waves of others voting, do not fear, for you are not alone. We as a youth number many and our opinions number more. If we come out in our full power, our full glory, there is not one 18 year old boy or girl in this nation that will stand alone on an issue. My dear brothers the night is the darkest just before the dawn. We are the dawn. Let us rid our government of its darkness, and bring on the light.
However I reckon that some of ya’ll might just be so lazy that you just aint gonna even register to vote! Well partner, you be making a big mistake if that’s what you gonna be doing. Registerin’ ain’t difficult; why I’d bet my boots that you’d be done with it before you even knew it. Git’er done partner! Why, bein’ the nice votin’ lovin’ kind of Texan I am, I’ll even give you some websites that you can do’er on. I mean, I’ll reckon some of ya’ll have them facebook and myspace accounts and serf the internet a whole bunch. Well, this ain’t hard, and it ain’t youtube, but I’ll tell you what: this here is voter registration! Just go type in http://www.sos.state.tx.us/elections/voter/index.shtml on them web page thingys and you’ll get the finest site for voter registration in all this here lone star state! So how ‘bout it partner? Restrin’ to vote is easy! So boots and saddles boys, go over yonder to that nearest computer, and get signed up! The elections are a comin’, and votin’ is what we are gonna be doing. The opportunity for us to change this here country is coming faster than a buffalo. So come on ya’ll, come and take it!
So srsly (seriously) guys I no (know) we can’t f2f (face to face) talk about this, botoh ( but on the other hand) I am perfectly serious about this whole voting thing. Bitd (back in the day) young ppl (people) used to b (be) excited to vote: wat (what) hpnd (happened)? This isn’t smthg (something) to lol (laugh out loud) about. If all of the young ppl (people) in this country came out to vote, we could carry the vote easily! Iow (in other words) u (you), we, can do it! Voting is easy, and u (you) will make a change. But tafn (that’s all for now), I g2g (got to go), iac (in any case) u (you) are representative of America, so come out and do the big v (vote). Eom (end of message)