The Disappointed Patient and the Beloved Task
By Carrie Barron and David Ring
A person comes to a doctor for help with a symptom or concern that feels like it might be untenable. Perhaps they have waited months for the appointment. Thoughts might be, “Please, make it go away. I cannot ride my horse, brush my hair, lift my bike, carry my child as long as it feels like this. I drop things. My hand is not my hand. It isn’t working for me.”
What if there is no procedure to offer? Or a procedure carries more risk than reward? This can be difficult to impart. It may elicit disappointment. How does one deliver hope when all hope is pinned on a “fix”? “He is the best physician who is the most ingenious inspirer of hope.” (Samuel Taylor Coleridge)
Age old wisdom and current research tell us that looking within and developing self-healing mechanisms, both psychological and physical, will deliver the best outcome. There is evidence that positive attitude, pointed exercise, and being one’s self, doing what one does, in spite of discomfort gets results. The inner healer. Yet, an troubled person may not be able to hear this or find it comforting. When they think about it, it just feels vague, laborious, lesser than, and not real.
Perhaps they are attached to the idea of a physical fix as an almost magical answer to all despair. Maybe they need be taken care of (as we all do) and are seeking a laying of hands, a much needed nurture. Perhaps being left to one’s own devices feels like an abandonment and conjures a sense of confusion and helplessness. An absolute reversal of the problem would certainly be wonderful, but is just not possible for many conditions. What can one do?
Those who have cultivated habits of self-care throughout their lives; exercise, crafting, music, art, cooking, gardening, are better equipped to meet the challenge. A beloved task, a true interest, something to fall back on and escape to is a way of experiencing the self in transcendent form. It makes one feel good, absorbed and distracted from that which one cannot control. Culture can be a form of treatment. The life-affirming endeavor can be one’s “rock”. Best to develop these habits before an injury or illness develops. Though it is hard to master new skills when one is ill, it can be done and may even seed euphoric moments.